Before we get to Saturday's (July 24) "Big Brother 5," I'd like, on behalf of my gender, to apologize for the four dudes in the house who claim to have riding skills.

For their aversion to shirts, their at-best-cavalier attitude toward their female housemates, for the stupid headbands, for all of it: I'm sorry. I wish I could tell you why the four guys act the way they act, but 32-plus years as a male still haven't given me sufficient experience to explain why men can act like such clowns when thrown together in groups.

High-haired pretty boys Jase and Scott are clearly the ringleaders in the Equestrian Quartet, but Drew and Michael -- who seem like nice enough guys on their own -- shouldn't be let off the hook. It takes some will to reject frat-boy sameness for independent thought, and they haven't really shown that yet (although Drew may be getting there, as we'll see).

So it's Saturday, which means we spend the first segment of the show hearing how everyone was so sorry or not sorry to see Lori go on Thursday, then their feelings on Drew winning Head of Household. The Gang of Four's ebullient reaction to Drew's victory lays bare their alliance, in case anyone hadn't picked up on that yet.

Still, folks seem generally pleased that if one of the Flat-Iron Four had to win HoH, they're glad it's drew and not, as Jennifer/Nakomis puts it, "one of the evil people." Diane just thinks Drew's dreamy, even if she doesn't trust him.

Marvin immediately tries to work on Drew, and then Drew's boys start throwing names at him left and right -- Adria and Diane are mentioned at first, and Marvin's name comes up too. Drew wonders if he should just go with his fraternity brothers or choose someone that everyone would like to see get the hook.

Interlude No. 1 of the night is a montage of Scott lying. He tells the group that he was an NFL practice-squad player and earned more than $1 million over his two years on the gridiron. He thinks that if everyone hears about his wealth, it will throw the other players off their games, although it seems to us that if you're in a game to win a large pile of cash, you might want to keep quiet about how much you already have, even if it's a complete fabrication.

(And for the record, NFL practice players make $4,350 a week. Assuming a player stays on the practice squad for the entire regular season -- 16 games and one bye week -- he'd make just under $74,000. It's a nice salary, to be sure, but it hardly puts someone in the lap of luxury.)

For no apparent reason, Scott also lies and says it's his birthday, which in reality was a few weeks before the game started. Whatever.

After that, we're treated to an amusing little swordfight between Jase and Scott, with Holly as the catalyst. Sitting in the hot tub, Scott laments to Holly about he pays more attention to Jase than to him. Jase overhears and walks over.

The camera angle was from behind Jase, but we're pretty sure he had his chest puffed out as he walked over to say "What's up?" Drew quickly calls a chapter meeting and tries to set things right between Scott and Jase, saying he doesn't want a woman to come between them. (Not yet, anyway.)

Drew and Diane then talk and flirt some, dancing around how they like each other even though they're currently on opposite sides of the game. Diane offers up how much she despises Holly, whom she calls "poison."

Next, we get Interlude No. 2: Holly, Jase and Scott discussing how difficult it is to be as good-looking as they all are. I think I speak for all America when I say, boo-freaking-hoo.

The food competition involves everyone diving into a giant bowl of alphabet soup, diving for letters and spelling out names of foodstuffs. Scott again reminds everyone to get beer, which Marvin does. Jase spells "pizza," but otherwise it's a pretty Atkins-y grocery list, featuring both "beef" and "steak" along with eggs, lobster, chicken and cheese. Only Adria opts for any sort of produce, spelling out "apples."

Best moment: Scott, in his final dive, spells out "cheesse." Although he corrects his mistake, he later tells the camera that "I looked like a big jackass." Hard to disagree with that one.

The Bronco Buddies again throw a bunch of names at Drew, who seems increasingly likely to make a decision based on what might be best for him down the line rather than toe the party-boy line. Meanwhile, Adria and Natalie have switched up again, and Drew immediately pulls Natalie-as-Adria into the thick of things by telling her that he's considering putting her up for eviction with Marvin, figuring Marvin would be the one voted out.

She reminds him that he probably shouldn't nominate someone unless he wouldn't mind seeing that person go. It's a major bit of behind-covering on her part, as she wants to stay in the game until both twins can play openly. But it's also a perfectly sound argument: With the veto in play, things might not shake out exactly the way Drew would hope.

The nomination ceremony finally comes, and the Hair Products Gang is pretty surprised when Drew puts Holly and Nakomis, both of whom have been nominated before, on the block. Nakomis is disappointed to be facing eviction, but she notes that seeing the shocked looks on the faces of Holly, Jase and Scott was almost worth it.

And with that, we have what may be the first crack in the Pony-Boy Alliance. Drew is clearly worried that Holly is playing both Jase and Scott, but both guys seem to have taken a personal affront that their favorite blonde is up for eviction. "Stupid move, Drew," Scott tells the camera, trying to sound all menacing.

Hmm ... this Drew cat maybe isn't so bad after all. There may yet be hope for us guys. Just don't hold your breath.